WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Trump declared a national emergency this morning while going through his favorite McDonald's drive-thru, as the cashier informed him the ice cream machine was down for repairs.

"We'll get two Big Macs, two filet-o-fish sandwiches, and a large chocolate shake! The usual!" he called out from the back of the presidential limo. "And you know what, I'm feeling great living in America this morning. Let's throw in a vanilla cone with one scoop. No---two scoops! Make it two! Trump always gets two scoops!"

The employee apologetically replied that the ice cream machine had been down all morning.

"This is a national security crisis!" he bellowed into the speaker to the bewildered, frightened McDonald's employee. "And you're fired!"

When aides gently informed Trump tha

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