LANCASTER, TX - Citing their apparent ignorance of anything having to do with the Los Angeles-based thrash metal band, pastor Cliff Blackburn of Lancaster Baptist Church expressed his amazement Monday that nobody in the congregation had caught on to the fact that he has been cramming as many Metallica references into his sermons as humanly possible for the past five months.

"I started out subtle, with one sermon about hypocrisy called 'Holier Than Thou,' and another one about evangelism called 'Hit The Lights,'" Blackburn explained to reporters. "After that, I started getting more overt. A few weeks later, my lesson about addiction and habitual sin drew heavily from 'Master of Puppets.' When nobody picked up on that, I decided to see how far I could push it."

The congregation, still blis

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