'Workers Of The World, Unite!' Says Man Who Has Never Worked A Day In His Life

PORTLAND, OR - Local man Rayne Skye Meadows is constantly reciting Communist mantras like "Workers of the world, unite!" though he himself is not a worker, never has been, and currently has no plans to be one, ever.

"Workers of the world, rise up, and seize the means of production!" said the man who has never had a job. "I mean, not me. Other workers. I'm between work right now. But all you other workers, unite and rise up and stuff so I can continue not to be a worker."

Though essentially permanently unemployed, Meadows rises up early each day to log in to Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook to espouse abstract economic and political theories. "If only all the people all around the world would adopt these premises about capital and class analysis, then we could have a utopia," he wistfully sa