WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Elizabeth Warren has decided to take matters into her own hands in the war against crisis pregnancy centers, personally smacking free resources away from pregnant women when they leave.

"Not today, paleface!" shouted Ms. Warren as she tackled a pregnant mom, wrestling away her prenatal vitamins. "And what are these, free ultrasound pictures? How dare they!" she continued, ripping apart the pictures in front of the woman. "Always remember how I just saved you from pregnancy center abuse!"

Senator Warren has declared an all-out crusade against crisis pregnancy centers, accusing them of not offering to kill babies. "These vile, so-called Christians offer free prenatal care, counseling, and support for years after birth - without even ONCE offering to murder the ba

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