SPOKANE, WA - Local toddler Lance Wigglestein has completely lost faith in the existence of all-powerful, all-loving parents after they callously took away the really fun knife he was playing with.

According to sources, the three-year-old was perfectly happy as he waved a steak knife in the air and ran through the house at top speed. Out of nowhere, his mother screamed for no apparent reason, ran across the room with a terrifying expression on her face, and wrenched the knife out of his little hands without even asking. Horrible!

"After this crushing, pointless tragedy in my life, I have a very hard time believing in all-loving parents," said Lance through a translator. "I have never experienced such heartbreak. And where was my father? If he was as powerful as he claims to be, he would

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