Itry to visit my sons, who live far away, several times a year to see my grandchildren. Sometimes I stay with them; other times I rent an Airbnb. The problem is I am a neat-nut. While at their house, I empty full sinks of dishes, clean bathrooms, sweep floors, polish mirrors/windows, dust furniture, etc. I’ll even do laundry if they want.

I ask if they mind if I clean up a bit, as they all work and have little time for this. They usually say “Sure!” But lately, I feel they regard this as if I think they’re dirty, and they say cleanliness is not a priority in their lives. OK, I get it. I have decided to stop this activity when I’m there. Am I wrong to want to help out? Just wondering if I’m out of line here. Does anyone else do this?

— Neat in North Carolina

Dear Neat,

Because you are b

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