Dear Annie: I have been married nearly 30 years. I met my husband when I was 20, and since then, my life has revolved around caring for our children, two of whom have developmental disabilities, and for him. He has long struggled with mental health issues and has been unable to work for most of our marriage.

During these decades, I have carried the responsibility of supporting our family emotionally, financially and practically. My husband, meanwhile, has received disability benefits, inheritance money, and tens of thousands of dollars from his relatives, yet he has kept every bit for himself. He also battles a gambling problem. Around the house, he contributed very little, and in the past, he was physically abusive. That abuse once resulted in a restraining order and a year of separation

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