Daniel Neman | Post-Dispatch

Features writer

My poor wife cannot eat fish. Shellfish is fine, but she has an intolerance to fish that swim.

It's actually an intolerance to a specific protein in the muscle that allows fish to propel themselves through the water, and it's more common than you might think — especially because you probably just heard about it for the first time now.

But she likes fish, or at least she did while she could still eat it. And she likes — or liked — lox on bagels. So she did the next best thing, possibly. She bought a package of smoked fake lox made from plants.

It's called Smoked Salm'n, and it's made by a company called Konscious. I realize that they can't use the word "salmon" to describe a product that has no fish in it. But spelling "Konscious" that way?

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