AS ALL non-Londoners and Donald Trump know, Sadiq Khan brought London under sharia law in 2016. One brave resident writes a diary of his daily oppression:

6.12am

Awakened by the muezzin issuing the call to prayer. Well not strictly, as we don’t have a mosque in Esher, but I do have to get the 7.22 train to Waterloo which means a pre-dawn alarm. Feel strongly this is Islam’s fault.

7.45am

Disembark the train, lamenting the necessity for women to be covered from head to toe because of Khan’s laws and also because it’s getting cold out. No, their faces weren’t covered but they were in noise-cancelling headphones which are the burkas of the mind.

10am

Forced to fast until now because ‘that’s when my break is’ according to Carla my boss and Mohammed, probably. Go to get myself a bacon san

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