Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife and I have two boys who are 5 and 7. There’s more than a month to go before Halloween is upon us, but every year the end of trick-or-treating turns into a war with her over how much candy the boys are allowed to keep. She wants to limit it to 20 pieces. I grew up with parents who let me and my sister keep whatever we collected and think there’s nothing wrong with it. As the kids have gotten older, having the bulk of their candy taken away has been increasingly upsetting for them. This year I’m planning to hide the candy instead of taking it to my workplace and doling it out to the kids in secret so they can still enjoy it while avoiding the

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