Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I just got a call from an irate neighbor who informed me that my husband,” Carl,” has been letting our 4-year-old son, “Justin,” do something completely inappropriate when they’re out walking around the neighborhood.

The neighbor reported that she had just watched Carl direct Justin into her flower beds, where he proceeded to urinate on her flowers! She warned me that she would contact the police if it happened again.

When I confronted my husband, he brushed it off, saying the neighbor was overreacting. Apparently, he encourages my son to relieve himself in our neighbors’ planter beds regularly, whenever the mood strikes! He even tried to justify

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