Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos

TORONTO, ON

After temperatures soared to five or ten degrees above freezing this August, igloos have melted across Canada, leaving desperate parka-clad Canadians with no choice but to descend on the United States in large packs. Millions of Canadian illegals have already snuck over the border and immediately began to put a drain on generous American social programs.

“They’re showing up in Minneapolis and Seattle and Cleveland and demanding we supply them with ketchup chips and cheese curds,” said one patriotic American. “And the worse thing is, they don’t even come over with their own guns!”

Anti-Canadian sentiment is growing in the United States, with the biggest fear being that American culture will be “watered down with namby-pamby Canadianisms.”

“You’ll see, soon they’re gonna star