WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an embarrassing gaffe, several members of the United States Secret Service spent over four hours protecting what turned out to just be a Halloween butler decoration in the entryway of the White House.

"Ah, crap. We could've sworn it was POTUS," said Captain Cody Callow, one of the agents left red-faced after the realization they had been guarding a mannequin of a creepy butler purchased from Walmart. "In my defense, it's not the first time this has happened. Speaking of which, has anyone seen POTUS?"

Eyewitnesses say two agents had remained alertly at their post for several hours before it dawned on them that they'd only been standing in front of an uncanny likeness of the President. "Code red, code red! Has anyone seen the President?" said Callow into his radio. "I

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