THE cities of Britain are thronged with callow 18-year-olds having loud conversations while knowing f**k all. These are a few of the worst:

“Yeah, I’m actually really spiritual but, like, not in a religious way. I might be a Buddhist”

A conversation between two white students in £375 leather boots each trying to vaguely depict themselves as exotic creations nobody is fully able to comprehend. Neither knows anything about the Buddha except he’s fat and cross-legged. One will buy the tarot cards she was never allowed by her parents today and read them ineptly for the next week.

“Oh, you haven’t seen any Kubrick? Well we can watch them together”

There is always one 18-year-old who believes it a signature achievement to have watched more films than anyone else, as if sitting on your arse w

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