Key points

Passive-aggressive remarks often come disguised as teasing, but they function as subtle forms of undermining.

These undermining behaviors often have negative effects on mental health and relationship quality.

By calmly setting clear boundaries, you can protect your dignity and help your partner communicate directly.

Relationships are hard work; it’s a well-known, well-founded cliché. Part of that work, many of us have learned, goes into communication —trying to make clear to your partner what you want, and to understand what they want, despite all the noise and mistaken assumptions inherent in human connection. But sometimes, communication between partners fails to achieve clarity and directness; sometimes it leans into passive-aggressive criticisms instead. We’ve all be

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