WASHINGTON, D.C. - A bipartisan infrastructure bill keeps stalling in the Senate, but a deadline is approaching, as reportedly all roads are set to explode at midnight if no deal is reached.

"Roads are highly unstable," explained Reginald Highbottom, ruler of the Federal Council of Roads that meets in a zeppelin constantly flying over U.S. highways. "If we don't pass colossal infrastructure bills to refill the roads with highly concentrated infrastructure fluid, the roadilium particles that are in all roads will begin to vibrate and become unstable."

Highbottom explained that the fabled "road-pocalypse" will happen at midnight tonight if there is no new infrastructure deal, just as our ancestors foretold. And yet, both parties continue to squabble. Many think this is the work of the enem

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