Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so we’re diving into the How to Do It archives to share classic letters with our readers. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a straight, mid-30s, happily married man with an amazing wife and a young toddler. My wife and I have been together for a little over eight years. Our sex life started out a little slow, worked up to a good pace, then dropped back down after we had our child. We probably average sexual intimacy once (at most twice) per month. I’m fine with taking care of myself the rest of the time and, as far as I know, my wife doesn’t need to take care of herself very often (just not that into it). We’ve had discussions about having more sex, a

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