Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My boyfriend from high school and I never had closure after we broke up. We broke up right after his brother molested me and he “caught” us. Afterwards I froze. My then-boyfriend wouldn’t talk to me for four years, until out of the blue he messaged me on Facebook and told me he forgave my “cheating.” I told him the truth, and he regretted not hearing me out and I regretted not speaking up.

Now 20 years have passed since we dated, and I’ve seen him in person for the first time. We hit it off like no time had gone by. The problem is that now I have three kids and am married (not happily). We both want closure. What do we do and how do we go about i

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