Joshua Sukoff via shutterstock.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With lawmakers calling for Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth to resign over leaked Yemen attack plans, Hegseth expressed deep regret for not instead getting soldiers killed in a chaotic withdrawal and handing $80 billion of weaponry to terrorists.

With Democrats demanding answers over how a journalist got added to a group text where top-secret information was shared, Hegseth wished he had provided the Taliban with Blackhawk helicopters so he could avoid uncomfortable questions.

"I apologize for not exposing our soldiers to terrorist attacks and giving billions in high-grade weaponry to Islamists hellbent on killing us," said Hegseth. "My job wouldn't be in jeopardy today if I had simply handed control of an entire country over to the

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