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Father's Day is fast approaching. If you want to support the patriarchy you're going to pony up the cash to honor your father or he'll think you don't care! Manly gifts only!

Here are the manliest Father's Day gifts imaginable:

1) A rock: To smash things and sharpen iron weapons with. Like a man! AARRRRGH!

2) Bag of dirt: To rub on kids' boo-boos.

3) A camouflage high capacity tactical orthopedic back pillow: Support your lumbar. Tactically.

4) Bulletproof vests for deer to make hunting more challenging: Finally put that 2nd amendment to use!

5) James Bond's Aston Martin: Get the one that turns invisible so he can stealthily keep his daughter from dating the wrong guy.

6) Long-range, night-vision grill tongs: For the elite BBQ operative in your life.

7) A

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