SCHRATJLIJCH, MB

An area reeve will be first in line to receive the new vaccine that protects individuals from wacko conspiracy theories and believing whatever they read on the Internet.

“The vaccine takes two doses to go into effect,” said Dr. Schmidt. “The first dose protects you from reading stupid crap on the Internet and thinking it’s real and the second dose protects you from watching five minutes of YouTube videos and call it ‘scientific research.'”

Health Canada recently approve the new Nutbar vaccine and government officials are hoping to have the first three thousand doses available within the next week or two.

“We’re prioritizing the people who need it most: reeves, defrocked chiropractors, cult leaders. You know, the usual,” said Dr. Schmidt. “We’re really hoping we can get

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