Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

I live as part of a throuple with my husband, “Kevin” (43), and our girlfriend “Monica,” (37). Between us, we have three children, ages 8, 6, and 2. We’ve done a lot of math with an accountant and determined that it would be best for the household finances if Kevin divorced me and married Monica (with a bunch of other paperwork filed to make sure we stick as a group when it comes to parental authority, medical proxies, power of attorney, etc.). We wouldn’t actually be living any differently day-to-day. This is basically a matter of how we file taxes.

That’s all well and good, and we’re going to have a small ceremony with some close family and frien

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