Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

How does one talk to an 8-year-old about a parent’s mental illness? My daughter’s father has some diagnosed mental health issues (and some that are not and probably never will be diagnosed). In terms of behavior, this looks like mood swings, shopping sprees, a lot of very elaborate plans that don’t come to fruition, periods of inertia, struggling with basic upkeep in the home, and anger (never directed at her).

Officially, we have 50/50 custody, although in reality, I do most of the parenting. Still, she does spend a fair amount of time with him and has told me that she wants to, although she wishes she were better provided for when she’s at his ho

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