How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I started seeing a guy who’s been an acquaintance for a long time. I lightly knew one of his exes, and have seen and trust how he acts around women. He’s a lot bigger than average. Not in the Guinness book of World Records, but definitely unusual. He told me early in dating that in college, he injured his girlfriend having sex the first time. They had to go to the ER. It sounded awful, and I’m so glad she’s OK—it was the story of two kids who didn’t know what they were doing, not a story of abuse. He told me if I didn’t want to see him anymore after hearing that, he would understand.

We’re still dating, and he’s fun and smart and caring and intere

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