KITCHENER-WATERLOO, ON

Residents of Kitchener-Waterloo were shocked to discover a four-metre concrete wall dividing the twin cities when they woke up this morning. The ‘Kitchener-Waterloo Wall,’ which stretches for miles between the two cities and all the way around the outside of Kitchener, was erected by a fringe group of Mennonites who wanted to prevent Mennos from fleeing Kitchener for the warmer climes of Waterloo.

“It’s actually for your own protection,” said Mennonite elder Billy Brandt. “We can’t let our good honest, hard-working Mennos become corrupted by the worldly ways of the Waterluvians.”

More than a dozen Mennonites have tried to escape Kitchener by climbing over the wall, but so far they have not been successful.

“The wall is heavily guarded with Mennonite ladies ready

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