UNITED KINGDOM — According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), the names Muhammad, Mohammed, Mohamad, and Mohamed are now the most popular names in England.

2025's list of popular baby names is strikingly similar to previous years, but what's unique is that traditional English names like James, William, Charles, and Edward are nowhere to be found. The names have reportedly been rendered obsolete by a new generation of little Muhammads, Mohammeds, Mohamads, and Mohameds.

"These cute baby names are what's really in right now, reflecting an admiration for the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him," said statistician Mohamed Ben Mohamad before ramming his car into a crowd of civilians. "The names just have a pleasant sound to them."

This marks a striking change from a previous trend in w

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