DEAR ERIC: I have been recently looking over my canceled checks and realizing how many are the result of personal requests from friends and family to support runs, walks, book fairs, swims, and also favorite charities via obituaries that state “no flowers.”

Now, in more and more cases, I have received nothing from the family. I feel they are asking for a donation to a charity or organization of their choice, not one I am interested in. This leaves less for me to donate to organizations that I support.

Is there any way to politely ask a family member if they were notified that I donated to the charity of their choice?

I am doing this because I want the family to know I cared for their loved one and want them to know I am thinking of them. A pre-printed thank you, phone call, or email wou

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