MOSCOW, RUSSIA

FIFA has announced its final rankings just before the 2018 Mennonite World Cup in Russia. Some of these rankings have us a little baffled. Let’s have a look.

1) Russia – Some have been shocked to find Russia number one on the list, especially since there are very few Mennonites left in the country. Pundits have suggested that perhaps the voting was influenced by pro-Russian memes on Facebook. I guess we’ll never know.

2) Belize – Mr. Friesen of Shipyard Colony will have to sit out the first game of the tournament due to a red card he received for improperly milking a neighbour’s cow last week. The Belize team is strong, but without Mr. Friesen they are not number one.

3) Brazil – The Curitiba Kleine Gemeinde Men’s church league team dominated play over rival MB and G

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