WASHINGTON, D.C - President Joe Biden has announced that the U.S. will be banning all oil and gas from Russia. The President stated that this should not be a cause for any panic and not to worry about gas prices while he got in what appeared to be a heavy war rig.

"C'mon folks, don't be ridiculous. Gas prices are nothing to worry about," said Biden putting on his battle armor and firing up the massive machine. "You've been watching too much news if you think we're about to be in some kind of apocalyptic fuel crisis!"

"And who needs Russian oil anyway - I think we're doing just fine aren't we boys?!" said Biden slapping his 30ft oil tanker causing his secret servicemen to rev their engines and shout wildly.

Journalists report that the President then embarked from the White House along wi

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