I think guns of all types are incredibly dangerous. My in-laws have disrespected my rules.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I have been in an ongoing argument since our son “Nate” turned 12 last month. Over the summer, my in-laws took Nate to a paintball course (without telling us until after the fact), and ever since, he has been begging for his own paintball gun and to be allowed to play. My husband was on the fence, while I was staunchly opposed for all the reasons you can imagine. Well, what did my in-laws buy him for his birthday? A paintball gun. WITHOUT clearing it with my husband and me.

I waited until after the party was over to take the paintball gun away from Nate. Now my son hates me, my in-laws are saying I “ruined” their gift by “coddling”