Idon’t read the tabloids, but I do, sometimes, when I’ve rinsed every other app for dopamine. It’s not the journalism I’m there for, but the brilliant headlines. Such as this morning’s: “ Taylor Swift sparks time travel theory as star is ‘spotted’ in 1987 George Michael video.” The piece goes on: “In what would be the singer’s wildest Easter egg yet, a Swift lookalike appears towards the end of Michael’s ‘Father Figure’ music video, two years before the superstar was even born,” before adding: “Though the woman appears blurry, she has long blonde hair with bangs and facial features resembling Swift’s.”

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Sounds convincing enough to me. But such is the hysteria that gathers around this Billboard bulldozer: everything Swift does, or seemingly doesn’t do, is treated as a clue i

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