Early into her relationship with Thomas, Leigh was on the fence. Those days should’ve been rife with butterflies and intrigue, but something was off. Sure, Thomas was kind, gentle, shy — in other words, unlike the guys she used to date — but Leigh was unsure if she found his attentiveness enticing or annoying. She was, in a word, ambivalent. Over the ensuing weeks, though, her attraction grew, and four months later, she was “bonded and invested” in Thomas. The feeling wouldn’t last.

As soon as Leigh overcame her ambivalence, Thomas seemingly fell into his. “He became — and has maintained — a high level of avoidance through this relationship,” says Leigh, a 33-year-old psychologist who asked to be referred to by her middle name in order to speak about her relationship. “Actually, he’s beco

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