Forget about the Mind Flayer. The real threat you’ve got to worry about from Netflix’s Stranger Things is the Stomach Flayer.

This is not some imaginary beast that exists only in the fictional confines of the Upside Down. The Stomach Flayer is very real, and it is currently lurking in the shadows of every grocery store in the nation. That’s because Netflix and its corporate partners are promoting the fifth and final season of their signature television series with more Stranger Things tie-in products than you could possibly imagine.

I already consumed pizza and ranch flavored Stranger Things Doritos . There’s Stranger Things Fruit by the Foot too. I tried Stranger Things Chips Ahoy! , which were so weird and artificial my children, who are genuinely confu

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