ONLY musicians and students can indulge in being wilfully obnoxious as a personality. Each of these brings back memories of an arsehole housemate:

Florence + The Machine

You’re pretty sure Florence Welch was the self-proclaimed ‘white witch’ who set off the fire alarm in your housing block with a sage cleanse, costing every other resident £45. She claimed it was worth it because she’d ‘cleansed the building of negative energy’. She then kindly offered to burn some juniper if you still sensed spiritual impurities.

Axl Rose

Obsessed with alternative medicine, you couldn’t double-drop paracetamol without a lecture from this pious housemate on the evils of Big Pharma. He filled every available surface with brown bottles of homeopathic nonsense. And everyone knew, but nobody was allowed to

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