SEATTLE, WA — A man sitting in state prison for exposing himself to kids at a local playground is kicking himself that he didn't just wait and do it at a pride parade instead.

"Man, I'm so mad at myself!" convicted sex offender Lester Carlyle said in an interview with reporters earlier this week. "I'm sitting here serving time for lewd conduct toward minors; I should have just waited until June and then I could have exposed myself in front of tons of kids with absolutely zero consequences and their parents would have cheered me on!"

Carlyle said he didn't realize all he needed to do to escape legal trouble was throw on a feather boa and whip out his genitals in public in a pride parade.

"Dagnabit, I'm such a newb. Look at those other guys, waving their bait and tackle around in front of

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