Does Your Child Remind You of Your Ex?

Key points

Comparing children to exes can harm their emotional well-being and lead to strained relationships.

Do not weaponize your child's qualities, and remember that your child is not a direct reflection of your ex.

Empathy and support are more important than any reminder of your ex's influence on your child.

This is an issue that I hear about all year long, but it becomes particularly pronounced during the holiday season when children spend more time with divorced parents. Parents feel embarrassed about this but frequently feel like their child's less-than-desirable qualities mimic their ex's. Conversely, I rarely hear parents attributing their children's positive qualities to the good behavior/ intelligence / personality of their exes.

In therapy , I recently heard the fo