U.S. — Thanks to Tuesday's global Internet outage, tens of thousands of career-ending social media posts were thwarted.

Approximately 32,420 racist or oddly sexual posts could not be published to the Internet today, sparing several careers from sudden termination.

"I'm so glad the Internet died. I was about to say something really stupid," said Hector Gonzalez, head chef at Olive Garden. "I work at a family-oriented business; it would've been a disaster if I let my mask slip for a minute and told everyone how I really feel about black people."

The sudden termination of Cloudfare services between 6:20 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. has been viewed by many ne'er-do-wells as an absolute godsend.

In addition to websites like X, formerly Twitter, and Truth Social experiencing an interruption in service

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