Brought to you by: Young Americans for Liberty

Hey there, person! Are you still using electricity? We all know electricity makes the earth cry, which is why California recently banned it altogether. If you are one of the heartless few still using electricity to cool your home or charge your phone, here are 10 electricity alternatives. Try them all to become a better human being!

Buy an electric car so you can burn it for warmth: Those lithium batteries really light up!

Offer burnt sacrifices to an ancient pagan god so he'll give you mild weather: You won't have to turn on the AC ever again!

Just die: Problem solved! Just make sure your death with dignity is handled by a trusted healthcare professional.

Get transferred into the body of a blue alien on a distant planet's moon and

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