Dashing through the snow – by taxi, by train, and by running as fast as I could – I made it to the theatre just in time to see a play about a brother's mental breakdown. Emerging victorious into the theatre bar, my friends applauded as I told my tale of travelling from the mean streets of South London to the sparkly showbiz world of Soho, twinkling with the glow of Christmas lights. I told them how, despite having incurable cancer and being unable to run due to a massive hernia, I strode gazelle-like through the streets of London. That was the story I wanted to tell this week. That's what I wanted to happen.

As I thought about my route from my cancer hospital to Soho Theatre in central London, I envisaged myself as a bit like a contestant on the Channel 4 show Hunted. Their goal is to get

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