CUFFING season is over. Did you manage to trap another human being into spending winter with you, or will you perish in a blizzard alone?

Steve Malley, speech therapist: “My wife of 22 years, Madeline. And though it might seem a foregone conclusion we performed the ritual cuffing dance in the bower I built from twigs beautifully.”

Sophie Rodriguez, pharma rep: “He’s a four. I’m an eight. We’ll spend 16 beautiful weeks together then I’ll dump him. He will yearn for that winter to come again until his dying day.”

Helen Archer, historian: “Certainly did. Wait, this is about relationships? I should never have headbutted that copper?”

Joe Turner, brewmaster: “I’ve ended up with my mate Matt again. That’s the last six winters! People are going to think that’s what we’re into.”

Justin Tr

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