WICHITA, KS

The Wichita Mennonite Church Bake Sale generated lower than expected revenue this week, due in part to the extreme unpopularity of Mrs. Deirdre Jansen’s ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ dessert. The dessert, a variation on inappropriately named ‘Sex in a Pan,’ contained layers of corn flakes, prunes, and Premium Plus crackers.

“For years people brought that ‘other dessert,’ which I won’t mention. It was leading people astray. Giving them impure thoughts,” explained Jansen. “I figured it was time to promote a more family-friendly message. What better way to do that than with a bland disgusting dessert that no one will find the least bit titillating.”

Jansen had been working on the recipe for ‘Abstinence in a Pan’ for quite some time, and was shocked by the low sales.

“It just proves ho

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