Archaeologists Discover Sodom And Gomorrah Was Funded By USAID

JORDAN — Newly translated clay tablets unearthed near the Dead Sea indicate that Sodom and Gomorrah was originally funded by USAID.

The records, which were unearthed and translated by a crack team of archaeologists from the University of Chicago, seem to indicate that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were funded by American tax shekels until God poured fire and brimstone down on their heads, ending the agency's assistance to the cities.

"It was pretty standard USAID stuff," says Jackson Haviland, the lead archeologist on the dig. "A few million shekels for gay orgies, an allotment for raping visitors, several thousand for teaching young Gomorrahan kids that they were born in the wrong body — of course, these numbers should be much higher now, given inflation over the years. Seems like th