Dear Eric: As we approach the holidays, I am faced with a dilemma.

A few individuals on my Christmas card list suffered the devastating loss of a spouse in the past couple of years. It seems perverse to send a card wishing them a joyous holiday as I know that they are grieving.

I wonder if you have any suggestions for how to send tactful and respectful holiday greetings to these individuals.

– Grief and Greetings

Dear Greetings: The holidays bring up a myriad of emotions for many people. Even without devastating loss, some people can feel grief, loneliness and longing, alongside joy, love and nostalgia. That’s why I tend to like a personalized message, if time and personal capacity allow. Even a simple “You’re on my mind and I’m grateful to know you” can mean a lot.

Consider a holiday

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