I can’t forgive my wife for what she said to our daughter when she was drunk.

Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

My wife “Jamie” and I have been married for six years and have a 4-year-old daughter, “Lara.” Last weekend, Jamie had too much wine and said some horrible things to Lara.

She told our daughter that that having her “ruined her life” and “wrecked her body.” I don’t think Lara is old enough to understand what she meant, or at least I hope she isn’t. I told her Mommy wasn’t feeling well and said some things she didn’t mean. Once Jamie sobered up, I repeated to her what she had said to our daughter. While she was upset, she seemed to be more upset that she had let it slip than about the effect it might have on Lara.

Jamie doesn’t ordinarily get drunk l