Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

Today my mother called me up and told me that she didn’t want me and my husband coming over for the holidays for the most absurd reason. I am currently pregnant, and my sister “Zaria” and her husband have been struggling to conceive for the last three years. Zaria has a difficult time around pregnant women and babies as a result, and my mother’s rationale is that it will be “too difficult” for her to handle if I’m there. It’s not like Zaria doesn’t know I’m pregnant! My husband and I are now going to his parents’ place for the holidays, but that’s not the point. I really was looking forward to seeing all my other relatives as well, as this year is m

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