MISS MANNERS by Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have taken our grown children, their children and friends on several nice vacations. We planned another trip to surprise them at Christmas.

Now we have learned from our daughter that her husband does not want to go. He didn’t offer an explanation, and now our daughter isn’t going. We are out big bucks for nonrefundable tickets, and they haven’t offered to reimburse us. Why would someone refuse a free vacation?

GENTLE READER: Even if Miss Manners’ clairvoyance were functioning, it is her experience that the answers to such questions are seldom welcome. Nor, generally, are surprises that commandeer adults’ schedules.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.

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