Right after Halloween each year, the same messages slide into my inbox: “This will be my first Thanksgiving without my mom. How do I get through it?” “My sister keeps planning this huge Christmas like nothing happened.” “I don’t know how to tell friends I’m not okay when they’re all celebrating.” The pings are as predictable as they are heartbreaking.

The American holiday machine is like a relentless assembly line of enforced happiness. Pumpkins have barely ceased to glow before we’re funneled into a two-month-long tunnel of mandatory cheer where the commands are clear: Be grateful. Be together. Be joyful. And for everyone’s comfort, look genuine about it.

What rarely appears in the holiday cards we painstakingly produce is the truth millions of people live with: This season can be excru

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