It’s no secret that the 2025 Orioles offense underperformed. For all the talent on the roster, which helped the team win 192 games from 2023-24, things did not gel. None of us knows exactly why both the vibes and the performance were lackluster, but I know one thing that would help: Kyle Schwarber.

Look, I’m not delusional. The Orioles are not going to sign Schwarber. He is projected to get a four or five-year contract worth $27-$30 million per year. He will turn 33 years old during Spring Training, and at this point in his career, he is a full-time DH. None of this jives with the kind of player we expect Mike Elias to sign.

But on the other hand, Schwarber is so cool. He mashes the ball! He gets on base like crazy. His vibes are off the charts. Signing him would give a huge boost to the

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