ARLINGTON, VA — As aircraft malfunctions and incidents continued to make headlines, aerospace corporation Boeing blamed gravity for its recent string of mishaps.

With passengers growing more concerned about instances of airplanes losing their doors, wings, and landing gear in mid-flight, the aircraft manufacturing giant was quick to shift blame from their heavily criticized engineering and quality standards to the force that pulls objects of mass toward the center of the earth.

"Gravity is a real problem, and it deserves the blame here," said Boeing spokesman Jeff Harper. "No one would be talking about any of this stuff if gravity wasn't maliciously pulling all of these detached aircraft parts down to the ground with such force. Gravity should be ashamed of itself for causing all this da

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