This is a newsletter bonus question. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here .

Dear Care and Feeding,

Last week, I turned 18. For the past few years, I’ve had strict parental controls on my phone because my parents discovered that I had been watching porn. While I understood the concern, I never agreed with the restrictions: I couldn’t play games on my phone or use social media to interact with people I knew. Worse, I couldn’t create new contacts or text anyone whose number I didn’t already have, which meant I couldn’t keep in touch with new friends.

After I turned 18, I was finally free. But this morning, my mom set my age to 16 in my phone’s settings so she could reinstate the restrictions—now even stricter th

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